The road ahead... and the most random post of my life

How did I get so lucky?

That's the thought rattling around in my rattled head at the moment. 

I suppose, to be more specific, I am blessed.

I have a beautiful little family. I have a home. I have what I need to have a comfortable life. I have friends. Amazing friends.

Over the past 36 hours or so, it has become crystal clear to me that I know some pretty incredible people. People who are supporting and loving and allowing me to fall apart a little right now. People who are willing to hold the fragile little pieces of my heart for me until I'm ready to stitch them back together with the thread of a new dream. 

This kind of support is immeasurable. It is a true gift. Thank you.

So how did my day go today? In a word, it was foggy. As in head fog. Probably from all the wine and tissues I went through last night. But you know what, that's okay. One thing about fog is, it has to lift sooner or later.

And as I went through the day, I kept thinking...I've got to write down some of the random bits about this day. Here are a few of them:

1. Kellan finally napped for an hour and a half today. Which means I did too. Which made us very late for daycare.
2. Our lateness at daycare prompted a comment from Kellan's teacher, to the effect of, I was wondering what you do at work all day. Do you really have to be there all day and just sit there? I made some comment about how I actually write all day. And then I got the hell out of there. Didn't want anything about my personal work/life crisis to accidentally spill out.
3. I drank PediaLyte. And it was kinda good.
4. I burned the *%#! out of my finger while reheating some coffee in the microwave. Didn't use a microwave-approved mug. The blister is very large and white. Ick.
5. I redeemed a free coffee drink coupon.
6. I listened to a tutorial on how to use DirecTV. We don't have DirecTV, mind you. But now my next-door-neighbor does. And I was there at the culmination of the day-long installation process, and thus, know everything a person would need to know about someone else's home entertainment system.
7. I found Enzo's missing dog tag. Sort of. Someone else found it and hung it from my mailbox in a white envelope, which detailed where they found it two weeks ago.
8. I lied to the neighbor across the street. I responded, "Great!! How are you doing?" when he asked how I am. I was glad he was all the way across the street and likely couldn't see the extreme puffiness of my eyes.
9. I ate cold mac n' cheese right out of the pot. And I ate it with the giant serving spoon that I had used to dish some onto Kellan's plate.
10. I laughed my a** off at a video entitled "Kittens inspired by kittens."

I also cried some more. Not a lot, but a little. And I went on a short walk with Enzo, my cell phone, my iPod and my camera and I wondered if I should take it as some sort of sign that the batteries on all three devices were nearly dead.

Oh, and we all had pancakes and eggs for dinner at IHOP. 

Without a doubt -- the road ahead is uncharted territory for me. But it's a path I'm meant to take and I'm ready.

I'm ready.